Crossing the river

The airport here is separated from town by a six-mile wide river, and various means of transport are used, all of which have had their problems in the past. Last week a wealthy patron arrived before light in her jet and chartered a private motor boat to take her across. Since there is no landing stage men had to carry the passengers shoulder high through the water to the boat. The boat needed fuelling and due to waves some fuel got spilled in the boat. A lighted torch fell in the petrol, but it fortunately it didn’t ignite.

They started across in the pitch dark, and the lady asked the pilot how he knew in which direction to go. He answered that the boat had GPS, which unfortunately wasn’t working at the moment. He said he could phone a friend on shore to shine a bright torch which would guide them if the batteries were in good condition. Unfortunately his phone battery was flat so he couldn’t call!

As the waves got bigger and the passengers got wetter she started to get scared. She put on two life jackets and stuffed some money and her passport into her bra. She phoned the boat-owner to ask what his contingency plan was should the boat get into trouble. After some evasive answers it emerged that absolutely no one would save them for another hour until daylight. Afterwards she said it put 10 years on her life and was the worst experience she had ever had! When Tony Blair came his security people wouldn’t let him come across, and he just spent the night near the airport.